


Bombadil Goes Boning

by exopotamie



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-03-25
Updated: 2002-03-25
Packaged: 2019-04-08 04:01:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14096763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exopotamie/pseuds/exopotamie
Summary: Tom Bombadil persuades Goldberry to leave the river and live with him. On the way, they stop and visit other inhabitants of the forest....Okay, it's just porn about Tom Bombadil in verse.





	Bombadil Goes Boning

Old Tom Bombadil was a merry fellow;  
bright blue his jacket was and his boots were yellow,  
he wore a girdle and his breeches were of leather;  
his kinky tastes included one swan-wing feather.

Old Tom in summertime went about a-pimping,  
selling off the forest girls, in their clothes a-skimping.  
Sometimes he and Goldberry liked to go a-wallowing:  
under the water-lilies, she was fast a-swallowing.

"Ho! fair Goldberry, with your tits a-heaving,  
why not come with me, and leave off your weaving?  
I'm quite flexible, lithe and very limber  
better than your dildos made of porcelain and of timber."

"Hey, Tom Bombadil! So you like my blowing?  
I shall come with you. Whither are we going?  
Visiting the finny-fish and seeing Old Man Willow,  
and then, off to rest a bit, on your feather pillow?"

"Ho! fair Goldberry, with your boobs a-bouncing,  
first to the Willow-man, and your home renouncing."  
Up woke Willow-man, with his roots caressing,  
He drew Tom in his crack and commenced undressing.

"Mmmm! Tom Bombadil, tickling me with feather,  
dripping wet down my face like a rainy weather!"  
"Ha, Old Willow-man, mind you watch your shower--  
Pollen irritates my eyes and tastes of something sour.”

"Ho! fair Goldberry, with your breasts a-jiggling!"  
cried Tom, disengaging, following much wriggling.  
"Now to the Barrow-wight, poor, deprived, and horny;  
it's up to us to pleasure him, for a little money."

They did Barrow-wight in his stony dwelling;  
winds blowing, ever colder, as his cock was swelling.  
"Run naked on the grass!" Tom then commanded,  
watching as Goldberry's chest contracted and expanded.

At last Tom and Goldberry were free to be together.  
She put on her shiny thong, he put on his leather;  
she thought his whiskers scratched, but what was even odder  
was that during her orgasm, she exuded water.

So was Bombadil and Goldberry's first bedding;  
quickly, the lube was out and the clothes were shedding;  
biting playfully, limbs all a-gnarling,  
Tom sang "Hey! Come derry-dol, merry-dol, my darling!"

**Author's Note:**

> For many years, this lived only on Livejournal. Against my better judgment, I'm posting it here. It didn't originally have a title, but I spent three minutes on Google, remembered that Tolkien wrote a poem called "Bombadil Goes Boating," and here we are.


End file.
